Breaking those energetic Bonds from Toxic Relationships

Many people are in relationships and when they finish they are left with a huge sense of relief. When they leave a relationships with the feeling of “thank god its over” they usually never look back on the relationship again and have no desire to “re-connect” with that person.

For many of us there is more to a relationship that just physical and emotional matter. For those us that are prepared to think outside of the box it could be anything from past life to energetic ties that bind us to a person for no apparent reason.

I was reading a story a while ago about a couple that were married. They had tried everything to fix their problems and the wife was positive that the husband was about to have an affair. They tried counselling, couples therapy and nothing had worked. In all honesty neither of them really liked each other but that had this strong connection and the husband felt extremely guilty for leaving his wife and two children. They finally decided on past life regression and it transpired that he had met his wife in a past life and had in fact cheated on her. The result was that she had committed suicide. The guilt he carried was overwhelming although it was all unconscious. When he cleared the energetic ties they both cut any energetic ties they had an amicable divorce. They talked after and believed their “karmic path” was to repay back the karmic debt he had owed her from a past life.

The may be more to relationships that just past life karma. It may be that your own partner still has karma that they need to sort through. It could be that having met them they are forced to spiritually wake up. With the 2012 shift coming many couples are breaking up and more and more people are being forced to become more in align with their higher purpose. They break free from toxic relationships and are finding a way to become of better service to the community at large. Whether that be to be in a more fulfilling job or to have more fulfilling relationships. Everyone that they meet is a mirror of what they need to deal with in themselves.

If you are struggling to let go of a relationship that is over here are a number of different things you need to consider.

When your cosmically (or karmically) connected to an ex you never ever feel like the relationship is actually in the past -- even if it's 'over.' Instead, you are left with this overwhelming feeling of being alone even if you are dating someone else. You are convinced there is a possibility that there may be another connection with that person in the future. The result is you remain stuck energetically to that person and cannot move on.

The first step is to take a physical break from the person and that means having no physical contact with them whatsoever. It also includes not speaking to them on the telephone. In the old days it was easy but nowadays with phones and text and an emails its so much more tempting to keep up the energetic link by sending the odd email or text and worse if they send one to you first. You have to be strong and make sure you have no connection with them. If you are tempted to text them. Find a friend to text to instead.

Commit to a month of NO CONTACT. Often we think about these people in the quiet times. So make yourself a wall chart and put it in the toilet. And each day you have had no contact mark it up on the list. Perhaps coincide your break of contact with a new habit like heathly eating or stopping smoking and every time you have NOT contacted them contradulate yourself.

Look at the reasons why you still have that “longing”. When brokenhearted, we tend to idealize the object of our affection, but love is not about any individual person, it's about what we each have the capacity for inside ourselves. Chances are that you are feeling absolutely devastated and your sense of self esteem has gone through the floor. There is a wonderful exercise you can do. You take a sheet of paper and write all the feelings you felt about yourself when you first met them. Happy, sexy, confident and so on. Then draw a line. Write how you feel about yourself when you where at the end of the relationships, Sad, worthless, suicidal (this is an extreme btw) and so on. At the top of the page write YOUR name and and at the list at the bottom write THEIR name. Chances are, and you will know unconsciously, that if you are in a relationship with a toxic person.  The bottom list is how THEY subconsciously feel about themselves and as a result have projected those feelings onto you. Keep that list on the wall to remind you why you are no longer with them.

Often we as so focussed on the small nice things they did for us we selectively forget all the bad things they did. If you really want to stop focussing on all the good things things. Go and doing something “nice” go to oxfam and buy a bog literally. It costs £50 and it will provide a usable toilet for underpriviledge people in the third world. They provide you with a lovely fridge magnet that you can put on your fridge with two side by side toilets. Every time you look at the fridge magnet it will remind you of all the not so good things they have done to you and remind you to stay away and it will probably remind you to stay away from the fridge too when you are thinking about comfort eating ;)

Oxfam

If you are waking up in the middle of the night dreaming about them and thinking about them throughout the day chances are you have energetic cords attached to them which need disconnecting. I do lots of energy work and there are various different ways of disconnecting energy cords. These are invisible ties that keep us connected in the astral plane. A healthy attachment is like a stream of light that flows back and forth. A non healthy attachment appears dark and murky.  If you cannot do it yourself come and see me for a cord cutting session. Be prepared to keep on detaching. You will know when the chords are gone because you will suddenly stop thinking about them.

If you have any past life connections you need to break those too.

One you have done this you are ready to put the past into persective and let them go. Ask youself what lessons can be learn from the relationships. Maybe you met them them because you needed to learn to grow as a person. Perhaps you weren't looking after yourself and it was a lesson in teaching you how to love and respect yourself more. Often these people come into our lives when we are at a point of not knowing what we want in our lives. I know from experience and I work a lot with the law of attraction and how if you are not specific you will get exactly what you asked for even if its done unconcsciously

About 5 years ago I was in a place where I thought I was ready for a man again and thought perhaps I might want to get married some day. I must of put the thoughts out there because low and behold a man appeared but he was married to someone else. We did end up having a relationship and without going too much into detail I never specified that I wanted to have a relationship with a man that was honest, kind, loving, generous, or emotionally stable. And as a result I got exactly what I asked for.

So when you are looking for a NEW relationship be very very specific because I can guarantee you the universe might not give you what you think you want at the time, but it knows “exactly” what you need so that you can figure out exactly what you do NOT need in your life anymore.