Relationships as a Mirror

those that do not look within, go without

Throughout my coaching work there is one technique I use often and very frequently have to remember to use it on myself too!

Everyone that comes into our life, whether it be a friend family or partner, is a mirror of ourselves whether we like it or not!

Often we look at the behaviour of others and then want to blame them. Saying they did this and that to us. Even little things can make us wonder why are are they doing that.

I will give you an example.

A lady was complaining that her husband was always late home every day from work. She was asked to do the mirror technique which is to look at ways in which you may be doing that action to yourself and others. Her immediate reaction was to say . "But I am never late for anyone". She was left for a couple of days to think about where she might be being late for other people or to herself and then came back saying that she had found out that she was the last person to pick up her son from school. He had confided in her that he felt embarrassed being the last person and because of her tight schedule whenever she collected him he was always last standing at the gates. It was suggested that she stopped being late for him and collected him early.

Nothing was said to her husband and within days her husband started to arrive home early on time.

There are numerous examples I can give you. Say perhaps you are the kind of person that is always doing everything and being kind to everyone and no one ever does anything for you. If you look at your behaviour and find that the reason is because you are not actually being kind to yourself. Start taking steps to make time for yourself. Talking a long relaxing bath for example. Go the the hairdressers. Say No for a change!. You will soon find that the more you look after yourself and respect yourself the more others will too.