Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) 

Narcissism is rife in our society. However someone who is narcissistic and someone who has malignant narcissism is quite different. The Malignant Narcissist is likely to have Narcissistic Personality Disorder. These types of people are energy vampires and when we in relationship with them we often feel like our life force is slowing draining away. Eventually we may end up losing our self of self altogether.

Why ? Because the person with Narcissistic Personality Disorder projects their unowned feelings onto their victims. Narcissists are extremely manipulative. They are like predators and it is not until its too late that the victims (or prey) understand what is happening to them and realise that their energy is slowing being consumed bit by bit.

By the time you have realised what is happening it is usually too late.

Often victims of narcissists develop their own coping mechanisms. They don't want to believe the lies of the narcissist and distort the truth themselves by making up for the lack of honesty in the relationship believing what they want to believe. This however forms cognitive dissonance and most victims will say they felt like someone was wrong all along, but couldn't quite put their finger on it.

However the narcissist wants the victim to feel like they are crazy and as a result many victims would rather blame themselves, rather than accepting that the abuser is at fault. A narcissist will never believe there is anything wrong with themselves and will continue to project their own inner demons onto their victims until eventually the victim may feel like they are going insane.

It is only when you finally confront your narcissistic abuser that you realise what you are dealing with. Usually the narcissist will go into complete denial and rage. This is known as Narcissistic Rage.

Why ? Because the narcissists feeds of narcissistic supply. They need to be seen as “special and unique” and need someone to mirror to them their own image of grandiose fantasies. When the victims finally sees the cracks in the mirror and uncovers the narcissist for who they truly are: usually a liar, a manipulator and a con merchant and dares to shatter their image of themselves you are likely to be met with anger and narcissistic rage.

The narcissist sees this as a narcissistic injury because they are about to get exposed. When you explose t the narcissist they will devalue and discard their victims as if they never existed. Most normal people are able to look within themselves and see their own flaws. The narcissist cannot. So long as you the victim plays along with them and doesn't argue, expect anything from them or upset them everything is fine. However the minute you tell them there are lying or something isn't quite right you will be confronted by narcissist rage. This can come in the form of the silent treatment, or subtle means that are meant to punish the victim.

The narcissist knows how to play on the subtle emotions of their victims and this is what they use to control and manipulate their victims. When the victim starts to become wise to their narcissistic ways they will completely discard the victim and have no further contact with them. They may go on to have another relationship immediately or continue on as if nothing has happened.

The victim may come away feeling very confused and used and is often left with unresolved feelings of anger especially when you realised that the relationship you had with the narcissist meant nothing.

If you would like to read more about Narcissists and Narcissistic Personality Disorder you can find out more in my book Dark Souls – Healing and recovering from Toxic Relationships.